HiJack

2007-06-04T07:05:00.000-07:00

love red red

I find red pictures very,very charming.like blood but prettier.like the red light district but purer.like when you're bored at 2 in the morning & your only best friend is the camera that sits quietly waiting for the battery to be flat.well,sometimes I do that.
im feeling rather bored right now & im trying to resist every temptation to go out because 1)im broke 2)I have to study for MYE 3)its 1900 & im too lazy to shower.and I know sometimes I complain too much abt being broke but come next & tell you how I had a great weekend & great bargains but now,I really cant.i'll be broke next mth too because apparently my hp batt exploded halfway & I just bought a new phone only through pile up debts.
I did though spent a 'glory' pinch of my money to watch shrek 3 & thought the movie's not all that bad despite the fact that I complaint all the way there.which reminds me that I was so near yet so far from you so therefore I shld stop cyber stalking.or maybe not because I said that 1 yr ago too.
I was going through pictures in the internet & I felt jaded because this dude had really (really!) nice red pictures thanks to his lomo camera and I thought 'fucker...',in a good way obviously.

and all I need now is a whole lot of money.rob a bank or get a bf,spend all his money then break his heart.
and all I need now is someone to entertain me.make me laugh,point a gun,sing a song
so I wont get stuck in your solitary mud.

2007-06-01T07:41:00.000-07:00

(ironic)

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out
When you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face

2007-05-20T22:48:00.000-07:00

If you screw me once,i'll screw you twice

Supposedly it was a strictly-do-project-Saturday.But waking up at 4pm & feeling real fuckd up didn't really get me movin.So i pestered & pestered & pestered Jez to go out with me.Thank God for her cox i wld have been le miserable doing nothing fun on a Saturday night.I didn't really have the mood to take any more pictures cox i felt ugly/fat/fuckd/yeahyeahyeah.Got back arnd 4 & im having this really bad headache.Shagged,not a gd way to start an 800 words,10 pages essay.

2007-05-18T09:42:00.000-07:00

Friday & i spent almost the whole day at Cough Hill.

1st row,from right: Overbored & self-assured,we decided to take pictures of the cheerleaders & pretend that we were shooting and boxing them; Paramedics coming to the rescue because someone fell & pretended to be really hurts so we thought the paramedics looked superheroic rushing around with the medication box; us!; sky over the west field; it was Lick Mummeema Day.
2nd row,from right: Sher is very much in love with me as you can see; My tongue has a life of its own; Mumeema & me!; Mumeema & me! part II; Shoe battle

3rd row,from right: Nufu & me shiok sendiri in the room; Mr emo-insertwordhere-(Mumeema got obsessed with him that now i have a total of 2746237 pictures of him just walking around); Mumeema pretending to be God; Some girl playing with Zircon's mascot & yeah,looked obscene; Pikachu was standing at PIE

4th row,from right: Supposedly i was the only main subject in the picture,pouting away but Ashley just have to steal the show by doing the exact same thing!Hmph..; Dunno what i was doing but looks nice & takes up space in this collage; Nazi!!!hehehe; Told cha its lick Mumeema Day; Doing the ever so perfect pose-middle finger to all cheerleading cheers.

Maybe Saturday would be better.

Or maybe not.

Fuck.

2007-05-12T19:05:00.000-07:00

Gackt!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPNepYOlEMQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umJ58mIA-fY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXO5DHfHaDc

i could actually start a new hobby.

2007-05-10T21:15:00.000-07:00

Pre b'day sucks.
B'day sucks.
Post b'day sucks.
Here,a tragedy for a total fuck.

2007-05-08T21:13:00.000-07:00

so apparently my bday is a bad day for almost everyone i know.Sher got scolded in the mourning for her piercings,Steph thinks its the worse day ever & Muneera is just plain crazy.Personally i think its fuckd up too.18 is no big deal really but in a way it is a big deal (contradicting mf) because i like looking at ppl's faces when they realise that im not 16 or even 12.Muneera actually gave me a soft toy(?) flower which says 'i love you' after thinking that everything else in the shop is corny.Sher gave me a slap while i was playing some hand game with her & that's awfully painful.and she even accidently poured water on my chicken rice which is supposedly a b'day present frm Ashley.

i have to thank everyone who actually remembered my bday because i know how hard it is to remember dates because i have difficulty doing so and yes i'll try watching m18 shows 1 day.Heh..

and a big,big,big hug to french horn section because despite everything else,you guys are always there (=

p.s so please tell me you're gonna call at 2359

2007-05-06T22:27:00.000-07:00

'Sup

for the past forever weeks,I've been deprived of internet access because (........) so we had no connection & all I could do was pray and hope that tomorrow would be better.and apparently tomorrow never came till today.
but honestly speaking,if you ever trust me that is,nothing much has been happening other than total boredom, school & great weekends.i've been broke ever since I spent my money on whatnots that I could never recall & now I have so many things to buy.i am on a very,very,almost-very strict diet that keeps clashing with my mindset because people around me eats really good things & I can't help but eat too.i passed my pre-NAPFA test & that's fucking awesome because I have no time for lunch time training and also because I have better things to do like doing nothing.doing nothing beats doing something hands down.i gained weight,grew shorter & life cldn't more blessed.i have a rage against machines & my school lacks of boys with nice hair.i have a secret little fetish for the milo uncle & my friends are all nice.i spent my Saturdays at the same place almost every Saturday & Im not complaining.Boys who smell of strawberry,bites their nails & slur their words are very hot.i need to stop threatening ppl that I will kill them & burn their house.i need to stop stoning.
which also reminds me that I need to stop telling people that my school is far the next time if they ever ask me 'how is school' because yes damnit my school is far & I've been complaining since March & prolly abt time i get over it.
shite happens man.suck it up & live with it.

i love you too Raihan Hamzah! (:

2007-04-15T15:48:00.000-07:00

Saturday night fever,

Cloud's pretty today.

2007-04-11T22:00:00.000-07:00

neat hair.sport shoes.techno dance.footballers.conformity.clean nails.egos.gym.pretense.plastered smiles.fuck.

im not like them but i can pretend

2007-04-08T00:48:00.000-07:00

Flee! was awesomely awesome.I spent over $20 there on shirts & necklaces & still think i should have bought more.Friday's patheticly broke mood was over cox Saturday was pay day!oh how i just love Gashaus atmosphere;dark & smoky (not literally but you get the drift) Reminded me so much of Substation that i wonder 'when are we going there again?!?'

Should be sorry for not coming to see you play):

2007-04-06T22:50:00.000-07:00

Fuck Forever

Thursday night was supposedly the day i get back my beauty sleep but instead of doing so,i did all the 'fun' yet endingly boring things.and by 1am,i was dead tired.This & all when back then i cld get online at 1:09am & still be almost sane at 4am.

i don't quite remember the last time i saw Nerd Rules! but today was exceptionally good.We went for window shopping (...patheticly broke),food feasting (lunch + dinner!) & mouth theraphy.it was nice seeing people i love & never ever thought of killing back to back.

(Just so any of you know,its not that i don't wanna meet you or you or you but when i have the time & energy,i'll come around & give you the time of your life (; )

2007-04-04T21:27:00.000-07:00

I killed a snail on Wednesday & I really hope God will forgive me.Cause all this while I thought I stepped on a vodka bottle but hey,who am I kidding?i am not that heavy & vodka bottles are not made of cheap glass.not that I know of such but,uh,nvm.and when I told ppl bt it,they gave me a face as tho I just killed their family members.jez thought I was mean even tho I repeated 36382764374 times I didn't mean to.i mean if you look at it properly,it is not fully my fault;the snail's too slow.Hah!(-.-")
speaking of jez,I met her today!its been 2mths & 19days since we last met & the only thing I remembered abt our last meeting was 'aMUSEd'.Heh.so there I was standing next to her in uniform,huge drawing block & still ridiculously short.friending ppl who are short doesn't help either;I still think im short.meeting intan halfway thru town doesn't help either;she's tall.looks like the whole world is against me.we didn't really do much except talk & talk & yeah,talk.i seem to have so much to tell her but when it comes to other ppl, I can be such a mute at times.ate pasta mania & halfway thru eating my meatballs,I stupidly thought of asking her to have one."oh.you don't eat beef.ha-ha" Bimboism.next was coffebean where she tricked me into buying Belgium chocolate which tastes like coffee.do you get it?damn i don't.GRR!and somewhat sumhow or another,ppl like staring at us whenever we sit at the sidewalk of orchard-(nbfd)
Art today was somewhat fun.not that art was never fun but well,you get the drift.
me:Eh sial lah.
Sher:Huh?You call me?
Me:Unless your name is sial lah,yeah I did.
Sher:(!!!)

Good Friday's coming!

When there’s no school,its always good.

2007-03-26T22:36:00.000-07:00

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

and maybe,good days do exist.
(=

2007-03-25T21:49:00.000-07:00

yours,mine,we can share.
So you see,i was imagining such things & it hit me hard how bad that cld be.Cox Raihan was telling me that her friend( Or maybe not...Or is she?) had a tumour under her eye & she had to go for surgery to remove it.And now that my eyes are pretty levelled as my head;screwed as fuck,maybe i might have to do that too.And i will be in hospital,blinfolded,fearing for my life & noone will actually know.And when im over,not dying a rockstar,nvr tried many things,deprieved of some things,noone will actually flip thru Home & cut my obituary section.Ouch?This sound really pathetic & somewhat depressive yet i just imagine it.And i don't even know why i just did that(nothing better to do i suppose).Brutal.

(of course,i was lying 'bout the rockstar part.no,really)

2007-03-20T20:55:00.000-07:00

Love,Buzz

i am a happy,happy girl but yet school have to start tomorrow at 8am.and how i dread the over hrs back & forth (not that i remember anything;i slept thru everything).school's intimidating but im not gonna start.procastinate & sch might actually be good;complete with fat dreams & thick books.tho i miss those ridiculous sleeping schedule where i retire in the wee hrs in the mourning & successfully avoiding any hint of daylight.good days & always bad too.no more late night talks ("too tired"),smses ("too tired") & whatnots.im turning in early to even notice the full moon,too late to notice the sun & too busy to remember you.im holding on by letting go of you.

2007-03-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

oh my,HOT!

2007-03-12T08:46:00.000-07:00

Push the button

I can't believe it.my manager who sucks at making schedule told me that I can't quit just as yet cox he needs to find a replacement to replace me.gettit?i don't.i was already pissed when he gave me really screwed schedules & now with this,I can't help but get even pissed.so when school officially starts,I have to work every Saturday till someone comes to my rescue.and hopefully he is a knight with riding a white horse.0.o
and you know how im starting school & all next week?im losing it.this may snd really stupid cox just back then I was gushing on how much I wanna start school & have a whole lot of acquitances & shite but now that my school is that far,im starting to think I am really (really!) crazy.it's like going from one end of spore to another.its like me making fun of Nerd Rules! for going RP when she lives opposite TP.its like a big fat fucking joke but no one's laughing.i think the only thing I like bt the sch for now is how beautiful the sun sets there.once during the orientation,the ogl asked us what do we like bt the sch & I confidently said 'the clouds very nice!' '(-.-")' it seems like he is saying good try but try harder.well at least I try.
I really hope they let me take visual arts cause well,just lemme take it damnit.i took the aptitude test just for this.Risking 1hr of sudden death,sweaty palms & a whole lot of pencil sharpening.and I did get complimentary frm a soft guy/gay? who kept telling me over & over that my drawing is good (ehehehe) so God,help please?

told cha(;

2007-03-06T11:57:00.000-08:00

i know i've not been updating much lately but honestly speaking,it is not my fault.Blogger was being a bitch & i had difficulties goin thru my bro's com what's with the debug & porn popups pissing me off every 5secs.and also,i was hesitant on switching to the new blogger cox new things/ppl/everthing freaks me out.i kinda get stoned out & give up trying once it makes me go 'wt...f';i just don't see the whole pt of switching really(if there's a pt that is).so due to blogger's fuckd up attitude,i can't even blog bt the much talked abt v-day,bitch bt my colleagues,laugh at myself,brag bt my $9 hangbao & my happiest day of the mth cox uh,i pretty much forgets everything.and even if i did remember something,i figure its not much of a big deal cox i lost my sense of exxageration.D-Oh

tho i can tell you now that my manager is nicer & stopped saying i don't look serious & shite that literally rolls out frm his godamn,blaque,over-smoking lips.sometimes i just feel like kicking his ass,burn the restaurant,fly to bali & marry a farmer's gd-looking son.obviously this is a healthier choice than oxies or vodka or bringing weapons there but i wasn't doin it to be virtuous.my 2nd attempt at working life pretty much sucks & if i ever work at the f&b line ever agn,im gonna drink milk & eat cheese till i die.

cows die for cheese.

2007-02-07T23:55:00.000-08:00

Tagged by Soniaaaargh!
RULES: Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.

1* i take my dreams very seriously.once i dreamt that i got rejected bybrian molko cox he said i don't have blue eyes & he only dates blue eyes girls.for the whole wk i kept thinking im ugly & in need of blue eyes.well obviously that's not gonna happen cox brian molko's gay.

2* i don't really like making eye contacts when talking.i dunno why but i jux find it uncomfortable.

3* i hate saturdays.

4* sometimes i secretly wish all the dolls i kept in my cupbored are alive ( so they can talk to me)

5* i don't really like typing with spacebar;deafening silence.

6* i always think the idea of getting possesed is uber cool.well that's what i think but i seldom think so when i do think,its never a gd thing so i think i better stop thinking.

7* if i cld,i wanna wash my hand every 5secs.

8* i get emotional everytime i listen to nirvana.(ehehe)

9* i feel like crying each time i listen to G&R's 'Don't Cry'.ironically.

10* i hate the mourning air;fresh & lonely.reason why i hate waking up early.

2007-02-05T08:51:00.000-08:00

Bali
I figure that in order not to look dead or look like someone's dead everyday,I have to smoke weed before going to work-please.
lately,my mother keep asking to have a look at my bankbook.repeatedly in a day she will ask for it & repeatedly in a day I will ignore her.not that im being rude or anything but I figure that it is my money & even if there's no more money in the account,it is my problem.she thinks I have millions hidden behind the velvet vault & always talk behind my back literally asking why I love money so much.its not that obviously cox I only love money when im broke (quote:why do we never know what we've got till its gone?).take for example,now.and when im filthy rich,im spend my money on whatnots that I will never recall.secretly I think my mother wanted to see my bankbook so she cld take all my money & escape to bali.cox that's what I will do if I were to take her's.

yerp I wanna go Bali & its all thanks to najib ali.i saw his article on Bali & got really psyched bt it even though its not an option.my sister got really pissed with me cox my everyday convo nowadays always end with Bali.Bali,Bali,Bali.whenever she talks bt KL,I talk bt Bali.whenever she talks bt Europe,I talk bt Bali.when we hear the Djs talk in bahasa Indonesia,I talk bt Bali still.and when we hear Sheila On 7,Bali is still the main topic.i even googled & yahooed bt Bali jux so I can have something more to talk abt,jux so we can have decent conversations.
but if you think that's irritating,you might not wanna talk to me for at least 3mths(or more) cox I might talk nothing but Bali to you too.That is of course the least cox it might continue till I really step in Bali's soil itself.someday-not today,but someday soon.

2007-01-29T01:41:00.000-08:00

my parents are back & I did get a job (that sucks).all I ever did the whole wk was sleep.wake up.work.eat.sleep.wake up.work.eat.sleep.repeat.i wish I snd as cool as slipknot saying that but its not even close & I don't do wishes.i was told that the result wld be released by the end of this wk & god how I dread hearing that.i don't even like talking bt it what more getting it.i figure that this is it & there wont be another year wasted & expensive bus fare.i need a sch & acquitances.i need to start sleeping at 10 & wake up at 8 without any difficulty.i need to save $ & buy things like its my b'day everyday.i need to do so many things but all I ever really wanna do is sleep & nvr wake up.pills cld come in handy if I cld try swallowing 1 without having the habit of throwing it out the window.

my parents got back with a whole lot of chocolates for us & I really wonder if they went to charlie's chocolate factory instead of Saudi.i was very pleased the moment they landed cox it means food & more free time.i wont have to do chores & risk getting dry hands when im only 17.well that thought stayed for a moment but then reality came knocking.it dawned on me that I whine too much & if whining is a country,I'd be checking my passport right now.
mournday,but its already been mournday forever.

2007-01-24T00:29:00.000-08:00

Beautiful Ones

High on diesel and gasoline,psycho for drum machine shaking their bits to the hits,

Drag acts,drug acts,suicides,in your dad's suits you hide staining his name again,

Cracked up,stacked up,22,psycho for sex and glue,lost it to Bostik,yeah,

Shaved heads,rave heads,on the pill,got too much time to kill

get into bands and gangs

i wonder how come japan/korea are not big on gays.if i was a guy & living in either country with friends looking like kim jeong hoon/won bin/Gackt/takuya kimura/tsuyoshi dohmoto,i'll be gay & proud of it.i mean dude,my bf's even prettier than your gf & even your gf is gawking at my bf so yeah it seems natural to do so.

and i bet my bf smells nicer too.heh.

2007-01-17T20:07:00.000-08:00

Awesome.i take back whatever I say at the previous post bt not being a fanatic and hidup mati mesti muse cox I love it!honestly,it was hell at 1st.the band was 40mins late & even before the concert itself start,everyone was being a bitch.they kept squeezing & some girls were actually separating me,jez & imran away frm shar & soniaaargh.that was really mean cox they were so much taller & even if I was at the front of them & blocking their way,what makes them think muse will actually notice them?and the moment muse came out,all hell break loose-and im not even exaggerating.for a moment,I thought I was gonna die & if you were me literally,you wld feel the same way too.everyone kept pushing for whatnot reasons & god,someone cld have die but really no one cares cox hey its muse!at 1 pt when everybody was still being crazy & almost killing me,I just stood there & close my eyes-well,the moshpit didn't stop & it even got worse.i wanna give a shoutout to 'mister really big curly hair stuck in moshpit' cox amid all the pushing,shouting & sweat,he looked at me & said 'are you okay?'.either I look really pathetic(really!) or he is a very nice dude.i choose to believe the latter & so shld you.i lost him when we move to the back to escape death & that was it,fresh air & some guy at the back who keep headbanging and hitting my head with his elbow over & over at the exact same spot.GRR.

MUSE was reeeeallly gd live & yes imran,you win(:

2007-01-14T23:07:00.000-08:00

Eventually
ok so here's the deal.my parents are coming back in at least 1wk time & muse is coming in 2days time.i still don't know why the hell I am going to muse cox honestly im not a fanatic or at least hidup mati mesti muse kindda fan.i know most of you will be like 'oh wow I will die to be in her place.' but I just wanna tell you that you can go & die for all I care but just don't die in my place cox i don't have the time in the world to go mop all your blood.im freaking broke & for some whatnot reasons,I keep going to places that requires usage of cash.i was suppose to get a job 1 week before my parents get back cox if I don't,it will be pretty obvious what will happen to me.well that's supposedly speaking cox honestly speaking im too lazy to even get out & try getting a job as I am waiting for cash to drop frm the sky every 3seconds & eventually go crazy waiting.
I was watching Indonesian movies early this mourning due to extreme boredom & I realised that Indonesian guys are very orgasmic(I knew that frm last time actually,just pretending now).i told nerd rules! that im gonna marry an Indonesian guy & she said 'make sure he's rich & don't forget me'.i don't know what's wrong with nerd rules! & jez cox both of them seem so obsessed with rich men when scientifically proven,im broker than them.i was really just hoping they are not big on being gays.
cox lately I have this habit on liking guys who are gay.i mean yes I find gays amusing & all and sure I find them cute too but they will nvr do the same for me cox they rather talk to my guy friends.soniaaargh! told me that wentworth miller is gay & that is a total fuck you in the face.he is like the only bald guy I like & him being gay ruin all my growing fetish for bald guys.hopefully the government will allow guys to have long hair in NS cox I cant stand not talking to anyone I know for 3mths just cox he's bald=/

2007-01-12T21:11:00.000-08:00

On top of the world you get nothing done,

Talk is cold and burns like the sun,

Can't you see these skies are breaking?

'Cause on top of the world is where I'm from...

The back of the class is where I was,

Keeping quiet, playing dumb,

Can't you see these skies are breaking?

'Cause the back of the class is where I'm from...

2007-01-11T01:48:00.000-08:00

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,

year after year,

running over the same old ground. What have we found?

The same old fears,

wish you were here.

2007-01-08T02:23:00.000-08:00

MF
The best things in life are free
But you can give them to the birds and bees
I want money
Your love gives me such a thrill
But your love won't pay my bills
I want money
Money don't get everything it's true
But what it don't get I can't use
I want money
i think JDAHL is the only guy I went out with & feel like killing the whole time.thruout the whole 5hrs spent,the only funny thing he said was the 'whoa' joke.like whoa?not surprising really.we sat at starbucks till he grew fat eating oreo cheesecake,which he tried using to kill me by offering nicely when he bloody well knew I am LI.it was a really aimless outing with me walking round and round and him following like a dog.Dear God,I have always wanted a dog.But can't you at least give me something that is nicer looking?Heh.

2007-01-04T02:33:00.000-08:00

Twang
I think im the only person in this world who changes a guitar string, snap it & get cut by it faster than you can spell out my full name.

2007-01-02T02:55:00.000-08:00

TwoZeroZeroSeven

I want to break free

I want to break free from your lies

You're so self satisfied I don't need you

I've got to break free

God knows God knows I want to break free

HAPPY NEW YEAR YA'LL!

2006-12-18T02:28:00.000-08:00

114th

This may be the last thing that i write for long.